Monday, October 20, 2008

Safety Pins & Home Land Security

How many times do you wish you had a safety pin handy? At least once every couple of months, I'm looking for a safety pin. Between the kids at school with problems and my daughter's ballets where a safety pin would make all the difference in a costumes or backdrop, I seem to be in need of a few good safety pins. Not men. Although at school a stapler works wonders for clothing malfunctions. I can't carry a stapler in my purse. My purse is way to big and heavy now.

Another good fix at school is the rubber band pregnancy belly trick. You take a rubber band and loop it around your pant/skirt/_______ (not your shirt) button and loop the other end through the button hole (if needed you can do this several times to shorten the rubber band) then wrap the loop around the button. You now have an expanded pant waist. Just pull your shirt out over the waist and your all set. This is how you wear your non-maternity clothes or your outgrown maternity clothes longer. Yes, I did use this on more than one kindergarten child who was busting out of their clothing. You can't even imagine what skills a teacher needs to have.

Anyway, at my cousin's wedding she had a dress malfunction. You know how the train of the wedding dress get bustled for the reception. Well one side of her dress became unbustled. I suspect that her dress was being stepped on and the button popped off. I hated the thought of her beautiful dress being dragged on the floor the rest of the evening. I tried to fix the dress but realized that the button was gone and I would need to pin the bustle to the dress. I didn't have anything to pin the dress up. Luckily her mom, my cousin too, got a boutonniere pin and I pinned her dress with that. Not the best but it worked.
My husband snapped this as I saved the wedding dress.

So as I was downstairs doing laundry something jogged my memory, only two weeks after the wedding, (It happens at the oddest times) and I began searching for safety pins in my sewing box. I didn't find any. Although as I type this I think there are some in my bobbin container. Note to self. I know I have some so I check the baker's rack drawer. No safety pins. On to my armoire in the bedroom. At last a few safety pins. I know I have more that three but these will do for the moment. I rush to put them in my cosmetic bag in my purse.

The cosmetic bag of course holds no cosmetics. It has hand santizer, hair bands, tums, tylenol child & adult, sinus meds, cough drops, hand lotion, kleenex, band aids, lip balm, benadryl cream, and a sanitary pad. Now add safety pins. I use to have nail clippers and a small fold up pair of scissors (9/11 ended the carrying of those). After spending 20 minutes in the security line they finally found what they were looking for, the scissors. Never mind that I asked two times what they were looking for. I could have told them where they were and saved us all a lot of time. McGyver could save the world with my cosmetic bag. If only I could save the world. Alas I do my part by keeping Home Land Security in business.

One year a security guy took apart all my pens (the 20 or so in my pen pouch). I have a office supply thing and pens are my favorite with fancy paper being a close second. I'm not sure what he thought he was going to find. When I tried to show him how one pen could light up when you twisted it, I thought he was going to draw his gun on me. His loss!! He missed out on that one. I did insist that he fix my pen back when he finished. I don't get it. Do I look suspicious or what? I do keep a constant chatter going while they've dug through my items. I figure I should entertain them. It's the least I can do for those keeping us safe from terrorists.

Now that I've diverged from my original topic I've had to adjust my title.

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